{"id":570,"date":"2025-04-10T18:19:41","date_gmt":"2025-04-10T18:19:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.flure.com\/blog\/?p=570"},"modified":"2025-04-25T09:25:49","modified_gmt":"2025-04-25T09:25:49","slug":"overcoming-people-pleasing-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.flureapp.com\/blog\/relationships\/overcoming-people-pleasing-in-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming People Pleasing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is people pleasing? And is it really as bad as people on TikTok paint it to be? Let\u2019s find out with Flure<\/a>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Definition of people pleasing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

People pleasing is a continuous act of putting others’ interests and needs ahead of your own. As opposed to generally accepted and encouraged care about others, people pleasing crosses the line and makes the person neglect themselves and allow others to cross their boundaries. Sometimes people pleasing is a sign of mental health struggles, such as depression, anxiety, and codependency to name a few. So don\u2019t be fooled by its seemingly positive connotation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nice vs people pleasing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re confused and don\u2019t understand when someone is nice and when they\u2019re a people pleaser, think about their motivation. Your boyfriend doing nice things for you will be inspired to do it because he likes you, wants to feel good about himself or to return a favor. In general, they are coming from a positive and secure place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People pleasers, on the contrary, are driven by fear of rejection and other negative emotions. They are afraid that people will not like them unless they keep them happy 24\/7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs of people pleasing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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People pleasers come in different shapes and forms, but they definitely share personality traits that can help you spot a people pleaser in the crowd:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. They are very empathetic and caring.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. They are always concerned about what other people might feel or think.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. They want everyone to like them, so they\u2019re ready to do anything to win their approval.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. It\u2019s virtually impossible for them to say No, even when it greatly inconveniences them because they\u2019re afraid of others seeing them as selfish.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. If they manage to say No, they end up feeling very guilty and anxious and overthinking it for days.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. They might agree with someone\u2019s argument, even if they think or feel differently.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  7. A lot of people pleasers have low self-esteem.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  8. They apologize for anything and everything, even if it\u2019s not their fault or an apology is not really necessary. In fact, they\u2019ll gladly take the blame regardless of whether it has anything to do with them or not.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  9. They prioritize doing something for others rather than for themselves.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  10. They\u2019re likely to stay silent when their feelings are hurt.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    What causes people pleasing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    How does it happen that someone turns into a people pleaser? Well, there are several reasons why people may develop this tendency:<\/p>\n\n\n\n